14 July 2014.
A day that will be engraved in Cheryl history as the day that I won a small but significant battle in my fight for financial freedom.
I’ll be honest.
I’ve closed credit cards before. There have been cycles in my life where I used to get mad at myself and resolve that I was done with credit for good!
Until, barely a week or two later, I would find myself swiping the plastic again – feeling the familiar sickening self-defeat curl up into a fist-like knot in my tummy. I have figuratively kicked myself numerous times; wished I could have the guts to slap myself in the face to make me stop the mind-numbing behaviour that was keeping me trapped in cycles of shame.
This time, I know it’s going to stick.
For the first time in my life, my financial choices are now affecting someone other than myself. My husband. And while I thought that I could bear the burden of financial instability (because I had carried it for so long)… it was suddenly no longer ok.
I am still vigilant about a previous shopping addiction that was the primary shovel in digging this hole of debt. Every now and again, the sales beckon and the whisperings come that “I have to have this now.”
What enables me to walk away from the things I was bound to before, is that I no longer “need” it. I no longer “need” the false promise that the next item that I purchase is going to tempt me with. That fabulous pair of boots – even if it is leather, in my size and just “perfect” – will never make my life perfect.
God is the only One able to perfect the things concerning me – and He has been diligent at working on removing the things in my heart that are keeping me captive to lies.
So while it might not be a big deal to some – this is a big deal to me.
Killing my credit card means that my dreams get to live.
Finally feeling in control of your money – and no longer feeling like the money is controlling you – is wonderfully freeing.
I am beginning to realise that exercising discipline in one area of my life breeds new energy for discipline in other areas too.
My husband and I don’t own a television, we don’t eat carbs anymore – and we don’t have credit cards.
I think I love this unorthodox life.