When last did you make a decision that was difficult to stick to?
I’m not talking about skipping the gym workout this week. I mean the more gut-wrenching, heart stirring stuff. Like ending a toxic relationship, choosing to look for a new job or moving cities.
Although we know that change is constant, we still tend to want to hold onto the familiar (even if it’s hampering our growth). If we want different results, then we need to make different choices.
While choice is defined as “an act of choosing between two or more possibilities”, a decision refers to a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.
Making a choice is a preliminary stage of decision making. “I am going to redefine my personal standards of health and fitness”, for example, is a conscious choice.
You are making the choice between one version of reality in this area of your life, over another version of reality that you will need to create for the future.
There are various posts available online about how to make a good decision.
How do you keep choosing your choice?
Once you’ve made a decision, you have to keep choosing your choice.
When you are choosing something, you are saying yes to stepping into something new and you are effectively stepping out of something old.
That looks like change – and as much as we want to pretend that change is an old friend and we know how nothing stays the same, we actually take a while to adjust to it.
One could argue that we are creatures of comfort and habit, so working to actively shift your mindset will involve an active process of engagement.
If you’ve decided to move to another area, or to look for another job or to seek out more positive relationships, you should expect resistance to your new choice.
Do you find it difficult to stick to your decisions?
Once you’ve made an important decision – and you find yourself wavering – how do you keep yourself steady?
What is your reason for vacillating on your decision? Any of these sound familiar? (Remember that most of these will be subconscious objections).
1. Other people are not going to like this course of action.
2. I don’t know what the next step is.
3. Better the devil you know…
4. How do I know if it’s going to work out?
5. Is it really going to get better? Am I going to be able to change this?
6. I’ve tried this before and it hasn’t worked.
7. I haven’t figured all this out yet.
8. No one else I know is making the decision I’m on the threshold of
9. What if I lose?
10. What if I win?
We often allow ourselves to stay in situations which is hampering our growth because we justify our comfort. We avoid flirting with risk because we’re used to our predictable day to day process. Many people are so afraid of something new that they keep themselves captive because of the remote possibility of a negative consequence.
In order to stay on track, you will need to balance out the emotive drive with your cognitive drive. Just getting your mind right won’t help if you don’t keep your heart in check.
If the thing that you’re reaching for is going to help you grow your character so that you can be more of the person you know yourself to be, the reward outweighs the cost.
If you’re stuck in a relationship where you and your partner keeps each other from growing, then letting go and focusing on your own growth might be the best thing that happened to both of you.
If your current job is good enough to pay the bills and keep you semi-engaged, it is still a poor substitute for finding and doing the work that makes your heart sing.
If the thought of changing cities scares you because that was never in your plans (but you have a slight inkling that it might be a powerful transformative experience), you’re keeping yourself from having experience you don’t know what will thrill you yet.
Don’t let fear rule your heart.
The way that you can prevent yourself from following your emotions blindly is to keep a clear reminder of your purpose or vision where you can see it everyday.
Create a positive expectation that will fill your heart with hope and provide the fuel you need to keep choosing your decision everyday.
Isn’t the life you want worth it?